Above is the website for the Tariq Khamisa Foundation.
I hope my post that your about to read makes sense. I try to keep them short and that sometimes makes for a choppy story... Ok please watch the clip then continue to read below...
I had a chance to hear Azim Khamisa speak several months ago while in California. I had planned on blogging about him then but had never sat down to do it... Today I was watching a show where I heard another Father speak about losing his 11 day old son. The comment that hit me was, "A bad day? Try planning your 11 day old son's funeral".
Those words really resonated with me. So often I get caught up in these silly situations that I allow to control my mood or perception of my day. When the truth is I have a life to be grateful for...
Azim's son, Tariq was going to college and working a pizza delivery job on the weekends. During his shift these gang members called in a fake order and shot/killed Tariq for the pizza when he attempted to deliver it. The boy that shot him was only 14 years old...
I was like most people surprised by Azim's ability to forgive his sons killer. I am very thankful to hear his message of forgiveness but another part of his story stuck with me. Mr. Khamisa is a muslim and I have almost no knowledge of the religion. What I did learn is that they have a mourning period of 40 days.
This stood out to me because as far as I know no other religion has this type of set mourning period. And for me when I lost my grandfather I was so hurt that I thought the longer I mourned him the more I showed I loved him. I remember crying, then I stopped. It didn't feel it was long enough, I loved him more then just a 10 minute cry. I didn't want to eat, how could I think of anything else if I really loved him. I couldn't watch t.v. and live my life uninterrupted...
All these ideas and confusion on how to show my grief was very frustrating and made the process more difficult. I find comfort in the idea of a time period to allow yourself to mourn. I also see the need to end it as well. My grandfather doesn't want me to stop living, that would not honor him. And I know that putting a 40 day period did not mean that Azim woke up on the 40th day ready to take the world by storm. It took him make more days and even years he said. But the 40 days I see as a way to us all to give ourselves permission to live again.
I lost my grandfather Andy years ago now. And I honor him by speaking of him and living a life he would be proud of. Now if someone could of promised me Presley would not of grown up to be a tall girl with a husky voice her name would of been, Andi (her Daddy is 6'5").
My Grandparents.
