I recently finished this book Nurture Shock on a, "new thinking about children". I really liked the book, not in love with it (I will explain) but I would recommend it to other parents. It's a pretty quick read (under 300 pages). I guess with a book like this it will always lead to to more questions, which is a good thing. However, I'm only human and I want answers.
There were several topics that really struck me and had me asking my friends for their input. The first topic was tattle telling. I know I have already said to Presley on several occasions, not to tattle. My reasoning was A. I didn't see what really happened, I guess she could be lying. B. The other parent is sitting right there and isn't doing anything- uncomfortable for me. C. I know she's telling the truth but don't know how to handle the situation- so I let her fend for herself.
The book goes on to say that most likely the child is telling the truth and has generally handled numerous incidents on their own and now is finally coming to you for help. However parents and teachers are turning them away. Then I starting thinking, "is this why we have kids bullying others and everyone is standing around watching?" Or even worse videotaping it? Our kids aren't coming to us with problems as teens or adolescence, why would they? We (in my opinion) have conditioned them to deal with it on their own or look the other way. I still don't know the answer to this, but I no longer tell Presley not to tattle.
Another topic I liked was on how we praise our kids to the point of destruction. We give our kids praise left and right (with great intentions) from a very young age. However our savvy lil' ones know if it's empty praise or even worse won't even attempt activities they fear they might not be successful at. The book did explain that we need to be specific in our praise instead of saying "good job" say "I like how you kept trying" or "you were so focused and you did it". I have read this in another book and agree but I have to admit, old habits die hard.
A chapter I was not as impressed with spoke about our kids and the obesity problem being related to lack of sleep not food. I do agree our kids may be over scheduled, and have too many distractions such as phones, internet, games etc. However, I know the way our food has been produced is changed and so much more junk food has unfamiliar ingredients (trans fats, hydrogenated oils and high-fructous corn syrup) that our bodies don't know how to digest.
Overall I liked the book I could talk about a few other topics (about race and advance pre-k school testing) but you should just really read the book. The main thing I didn't like was, I would read the information agree that we as parents are making mistakes but then not have a solution. So now what do I do? I'm at a lose trying to figure out how to fix some of this stuff. I guess I should just be thankful that I was given the information that started my questioning for answers.